Another year has passed and I'm blogging for peace, even though I'm still unsure of how to achieve it. There are still wars and injustices' and yet we carry on. People die, babies are born, there are marriages and pairings and families made; and onward we march.
I still haven't achieved peace in my own family. I'm good with the ones that I'd lay down in front of a speeding truck for though, my kids, my husband, my sister. I guess that's pretty good. I did meet a lot of family this summer, may sound odd to you that I hadn't met my family before, early death of a parent will do that though.
There are 2nd, 3rd, 4th and even 5th cousins thanks mostly in part to my Great Uncle Archie. Two wives, two families spread out over the years. Siblings in their 70's and their late 40's, you gotta love that. I really feel blessed that I get to have them in my life. Thank you Face Book. Really.
I'm at a loss about my brother though, haven't spoken to him in years and have no plans to. Sometimes (well a lot of the time) I feel heartsick about this, but then I have to remember that it's for the best. It's for my greater mental health and I won't have anybody in my home that I wouldn't leave a kid or dog with if needed. That in of itself will give you a hint, it's why I chose to walk away.
My body is still at war with itself, conflicting conditions and medications. I can't walk away from it though.
I wonder how we can wax eloquent about peace when we can't even achieve it in our own families? Can't even walk up a flight of stairs? It isn't hard to see how whole countries can spew hate and grief at one another, how they can strike before being struck.
I've blogged about respecting others choices and being kind in the past. I've blogged about doing what you're physically/mentally capable of and spreading the work load. Now it seems I'm blogging about inner peace and family.
It all comes down to family eh? They have the greatest capacity to hurt and maim one another. They also have the greatest capacity to love and protect one another. To go to war to keep the family unit whole, fed and happy. Sometimes keeping the family whole is a detriment, a deterrent to happiness and peace in the home. Sometimes you need to cut off a limb to save the body, to stop the rot. Sometimes you need to agree to disagree and suspend contact. Live and let live, respect (that word again) their choice to live their lives how they see fit.
To keep peace in my home and family I need to exclude my brother, and also have limited contact with some other people. I also need to laugh, a little hysterically at times but necessary. This in turn gives me less stress and hopefully easier days trapped in this ever worsening shell. More time to concentrate on my physical health, and enjoy my family and friends.
So what on earth was my point? I think I want to say that in order to achieve peace on a global scale we need to achieve it in our own families, to the best of our ability. Stick by our choices, show love, respect, kindness and laugh a little too.