Friday, September 25, 2009

What pushes some one to react badly?

For me it's unfairness, toward me and my loved ones, or having to defend myself
for something I never said or did. To have to justify every opinion, or choice I make to try to live a better life and be an evolving entity.

That's one of the reasons I started another Blog. I'm tired of people calling me on everything I write in there. I'm tired of people misreading or misunderstanding what I write. I try to be clear, but I guess if you're not sitting in my chaotic head with me, you'll misconstrue some things.

I was going to put up a disclaimer in here, but decided why bother? People will read into my posts what they want, based on their relationship or lack thereof with me and mine. That's your right. Some people I've decided must have a guilty conscience, because lets face it, I've been pretty critical and called them on things in my other Blog, but only to stop or bring attention to the unfairness.

I'm also weary to the max with the few who claimed that they never read my Blog, when I see them logged in with their Delphi account. It's become a joke, "Look Buzz, so and so is in here not reading the Blog again!" Then a little later I'll go to their Blogs or web sites and find them waxing eloquent on the same damn topic. (sorry kb kinda said the same thing you did last week)

What pushes their buttons? What's the motivation, the goal, the aim, the purpose? What do they hope to achieve or attain by threatening to *beat* me up at the dance? Not just me either, but two other people.( Well, that's what I was told by four different people and e-mailed about. )Was it true? I guess it was to have so many people relay the same thing to me.

At first I laughed, then I got really angry, then I felt pity for the person who'd allow herself to go out in public and physically threaten a fat old broad like me. The thing is I didn't react in a like manner, I could have gone up to her in the brief time I saw her at the beer garden and smacked her a good one, but why? I can control myself, I was angry but I didn't let it show and I believe there's a time and place for everything, but never violence.

I know what it's like to have someone take away your options. For someone to physically pound you and I know how it made me feel. I would never strike another person except in self defense, ever.

The crux of the matter is that I had posted in my Blog that we were not going to the Toy-Run dance, and I know for a fact that she read it. I have her log in. Then to be overheard at the dance saying that I was scared, friendless and embarrassed. That's the reason I backed out of going. Is that true? I dunno but again that's what was relayed to me. So am I in fact stirring the pot? Am I in fact fanning the flames? I guess I am and the best thing to do would be to delete this post and carry on with my every day.

BUT!! I was threatened with violence by a person who has no reason as far as I can see. I haven't even laid eyes on this individual for over a year. I'm not going to pretend it never happened, there's a lot of that going on, I'm not going to give her a pass, it goes back to consequences and living with your choices and actions.

I'm done, and in the case of this person I'm telling it like I see it. Enough mollycoddling for someone who doesn't deserve it, or need it.

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